Adieu
by lady pancakes
Summary: Dinner, a confession and contemplations. ReiKaidou


**Disclaimer: Standard ones apply. **

There was a mysterious force that drove me into writing this. I guess I was just trying to write differently, I mean the story is rather different from what I normally write (or at least I think so). Anyway, just trying to be productive.

**Adieu**

Routine- that was what it was. Year after year, it was always the same. Just one night… 'Of what?' they would ask themselves. 'A night of what?'

_Forbidden pleasures?_

_Unfulfilled dreams?_

They couldn't quite put a name to what that one night was to them- they couldn't quite agree. They both agreed, however, that the night was special.

'Happy birthday, Rei.'

'No Casablancas, Kaidou?'

'I thought you said you've outgrown them.'

'Yes, I have.'

It was always short conversations. Making up for lost time didn't have to involve words. Just the presence of each other was enough. Words were trivial.

He knew that words to her were just that- words. A bunch of meaningless letters.

Words led to promises, promises would be broken. Words led to lies. They've known each other long enough for him to know that she did not like lies and empty promises.

Tonight, just like their other previous rendezvous, many things would be left unsaid. It killed him but she appreciated the silence so he forced himself to appreciate it too.

Actions, as they say, speak louder than words. She appreciated actions- gentle, subtle and unrushed actions. Every move- calculated.

A gentle touch- _'How are you?'_

A serene smile- _'I've missed you.'_

'How's the husband?' He suddenly asked.

It had been exactly a year since they had seen each other, sure they would see each other during luncheons and parties but they never really mingled, tonight, the one special night of the year he could talk to her and she wanted silence. He knew she liked her silence, subtle actions, but a year… It had been a year and he missed her. Words- unspoken, unadulterated, unexpressed. They had to be said.

She looked up from her plate and cast her curious, amethyst eyes at him. 'Still the same insipid little imbecile I married three years ago.'

Her small, pale hands reached for his large, tanned ones.

A touch… What did it mean? And why was she looking at him that way? He couldn't quite understand why she was looking at him that way. Questions, they were swimming in her eyes but he was never any good at reading her. The same couldn't be said about her though. He was an open book to her. What was that look, then? Goodbye? But they've barely begun.

'Rei?' he asked tentatively, covering her hand with his other hand.

'This would be the last.'

The last what, he asked himself. The last time they would see each other? Were they never to meet again merely because he spoke more than he should? Did she value her silence that much that she would sever their odd friendship? What did she mean?

'Last what, Rei?' He dared ask.

'We both know I'm miserable, Kaidou.' She began calmly, 'I try to ignore my misery… silence, contemplation, meditation… I try to drown my misery, but every time we do this, all the effort I've put into deluding myself would amount to nothing and I would be reminded again that I am miserable and I can never be happy.'

Gently, she remover her hands from the table and tightly clutched the little, black bag sitting in her lap. 'I can't keep this up, it's incredibly tiring. I wanted to be happy, Kaidou, but I know I never will be so that's why this would be the last time.'

'And what about me, Rei?' He asked dejectedly. 'Don't I have a say?'

'No, you don't. You see, for ten years now, you've made me feel miserable. I see you happy with your wife and your cute, little girl and I wish that was me by your side, that the cute, little girl was mine… _ours_… but that's a long-gone dream and I know I can never have that with my husband. Seeing you every year… It's too much, Kaidou. I just can't anymore.' She stood up then, her back rigid and her nose held up high, 'Goodbye, Kaidou-san.'

'Rei, please, I'm sor-'

'No.' She softly said. 'Empty words… stupid apologies… Don't give me any of that.'

'But Rei…'

'No.'

'So this is how it's going to end, Rei-chan?'

'Yes.' And with that, she left.

Words- unspoken, unadulterated, unexpressed. They would remain that way forever.

Tonight, he was left with a bitter taste in his mouth… Just the sheer knowledge that he was the cause of her misery made him want to kill himself. He knew she was miserable even if she was rather skilled at hiding it. But to hear that he was the root of all her anguish, it was too much to bear. What killed him more was the fact that he could have done something to spare her of the misery… but he didn't and there was nothing he could do about it now. But his death, he silently contemplated, would it be enough for atonement?

'Goodbye, Rei…'

**End… or is it..?**

Please do review… I've even enabled anonymous comments just for the sake of getting reviews. I'm not needy but jeez… feedback people! I need it if I wish to improve. Anyway, this is a rather odd story, odd for me that is.

Ps. I like ellipses… can… you… tell…?

Ps no. 2, They're (Rei and Kaidou) not related.

**REVIEW, DAMN IT!**


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